Every woman has her own idea of what is sexy. I like a man who can make me laugh. A man with honest eyes and a caring nature. A man like my husband who has been making me laugh for thirty-three years.
I tell people it was love at first sight, and in a way it was. Our eyes locked from across a crowded bar and…the girl I was with–a young woman he once dated–introduced us. He and I talked and laughed until I was called back to the table where my sisters and friends were listening to the band. A while later, I wandered past his table. When I saw him sitting alone,I said, “Why are you sitting here all by himself?” To which he answered: “If you sit with me, I won’t be alone anymore.”
It was such a corny line, I had to laugh. He laughed with me and we began dating the next weekend.
Nine months later, we were engaged, and nine months after that, we were married.
But what was the initial attraction? Was it those gorgeous blue eyes with the streaks of silver? Was it the contrast of his dark hair or the cuteness of his tight little butt? Or was it something as simple as the symmetry of his face?
Some scientific research on attraction suggests that animals (humans included) are drawn to symmetry because it’s viewed as a sign of health and vitality. In the animal kingdom, it is preferred over asymmetric faces or bodies as a sign of strength and survival. It all goes back to survival of the fittest and is often referred to as The Evolutionary Advantage view.
Some find this view controversial and feel it is an insult to human intelligence. Discounting instinct and evolutionary views, other researchers have stated that symmetric faces are preferable because visual symmetry is more easily processed by the visual part of the brain than asymmetry. The visual part of the brain sees half of a whole and processes the information as a whole image, but if the left half of a face is dissimilar or asymmetric, it takes longer for the brain to process the information to create the whole image. Thus, attraction is more spontaneous when visualizing a more symmetric face. This is known as The Perpetual Bliss view. Or, more fittingly, in my opinion, the He’s Hot, He’s Not view.
Attraction is definitely a visual thing. And while I believe I was attracted to my husband at first sight, it took something deeper and more meaningful to sustain that attraction. It took mutual love and respect.
One of my favorite pictures of my husband doesn’t even show his face. It’s a picture of him holding our up youngest daughter so she can see over a walled enclosure at Sea World. I think the reason I find this picture so incredibly sexy is that it shows him as the wonderful father he is. And, he has a really sexy jaw line. 🙂
Even as my husband has aged, he’s still sexy to me. That dash of salt with the pepper adds to his appeal.
Is it because he’s always been such a great dad and husband? He’s always spent time with his family, taking us on trips and making us laugh. And, he was there for me when I needed him the most. He’s supported my dreams of being a writer and he supported me when I had breast cancer.
He also looks more like Richard Gere now that he’s gotten older, and I’ve always found Gere sexy.
Sexy comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. I’ve been called nuts for thinking Robin Williams is sexy. Maybe it goes back to his Mork and Mindy days
Or maybe it’s because he makes me laugh and has the sexiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. But I’m not completely nuts. Like most woman, I think Hugh Jackman is sexy.
So is Matthew McConaughey and Shemar Moore.
Yep, a lot of celebrities are considered sexy, but in real life, it takes more than just a handsome face to make a man sexy. It’s the way he carries himself and the way he treats others. It’s his personality and personal hygiene. While a man with a bit of scruff on his face might be sexy, a man with stinky pits, rotten teeth and body odor is not, I don’t care how buff his body is. And while I wasn’t a huge Ashton Kutcher fan before I saw his speech at the Teen Choice Awards, I’ve now added him to my list of sexy Hollywood stars.
Kutchesaid “I believe that opportunity looks a lot like hard work.” and “The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart, and being thoughtful, and being generous. Everything else is crap, I promise you.” With any luck, all those young girls who saw Kutcher’s speech will remember what’s most important, and physical good looks has little to do with it.
Tiffany Buczek said:
Oh, Lilly, I LOVE this post. I always like hearing stories about how couples met, but this one has substance to it. The stuff that really and truly matters…agreed. What’s funny is before I saw the pic of Richard Gere, I thought, Wow, he looks a lot like Richard Gere!
As sexy as I’ve found Robin Williams to be on occasion, I’m glad you thought he looked like Richard instead of Robin. Richard Gere is definitely better looking. lol!
Awesome article. Needless to say, he had you at “If you sit with me, I won’t be alone anymore…” Love it!
He sure did. But to this day, he won’t tell me if he was speaking literally or metaphorically. I like to think it was a bit of both, even then. 🙂
Sandra Dailey said:
My husband hooked me with his gorgeous blue eyes and smile. He was raising two kids on his own. His gentle nature, patience and good humor reeled me in.
There’s just something about a man with gorgeous eyes! Especially when there is a beautiful soul behind them.
Darcy Lundeen said:
Wonderful post, Lilly. Looks like you and your husband both came out winners, and that’s the best kind of result anyone could ask for. May you both have many more wonderful years together.
Lilly Gayle said:
Aww. Thanks, Darcy!
Great post, Lilly. I think that while we as women are drawn to certain features at first–in my case, nice eyes, strong hands, a good body–in the end it’s the man himself. After all, he could be th best damn looking man in the world but if he opened his mouth and was an idiot in our eyes, that’s hardly likely to win us over. And, yes, with me a sense of humor is important. Though I do like nice eyes…
Lilly Gayle said:
Eyes and a sense of humor. Absolutely. And no idiots. Brains are definitely sexy.
Rebecca Booth said:
Lilly,your husband was “Sexy” and is “Sexy, and he is a kind and thoughtful man. You are so lucky, as if you don’t already know it, your cousin is saying so! He also has a great sense of humor! We were and are fortunate to have such amazing husbands!
Thanks, Becky. He can be a turd at times, like most men, but I have my turd days too, so I can’t complain. Thanks for stopping by and being such a great supporter of romance authors!